Death Sits On Our Shoulders

I am feeling to share some of my perspectives on death and dying and throw some light or a different view upon the matter. I have believed in reincarnation since I was 15 years old upon reading about Bridie Murphy in the Womens Weekly. Many people with whom I speak say they have a feeling that we do come back and would like to think that there is a purpose, or let’s say a higher purpose to living a life, rather than death being the end of it. It also throws a spanner in the works of then believing in a heaven or hell. I have heard it said that hell is living here on earth in an unconscious state and that darkness exists here in the unillumined times of our lives. Fortunately we may choose to ‘wake up’ to spirituality and see things from a different perspective.

The reason for this piece about death is about being real and a gentle reminder that the only certainties in life are death and taxes. Is it not then best that we prepare ourselves for them both and in doing, create more harmony for family and friends in so doing, to get our affairs in order. How many of us have that sorted?

My ex-husband died on 5th August, the funeral was at Springvale Crematorium on the 13th, which was a wonderful celebration of his life. I had known Bill for 55 years, one of the longest relationships that I have had. Luckily he died peacefully in his sleep, rather than being bedridden for years as was his father before him. I was very proud of our five children who all spoke and shared stories about his life at the funeral, which flowed each into the other.

Death is such a personal thing to each of us I believe. We all have our own experiences and memories of the person, each is unique; no one can truly feel as another feels, nor walk in their shoes. Bill’s passing for me has caused way more grief than I had expected and I have given myself time to honestly feel as I feel and be quiet, appreciating the opportunity to go deeper within and get more in touch with other seemingly unrelated grief filled times and moments. It is said that there is a grief pool, where unresolved times of grief or loss in our lives settle. Another nice way of putting it is that it is like a string of pearls that we wear. It can be precious and each pearl an individual treasure, that holds a richness for us in our hearts.

My recent experience has been useful in helping me be in touch with my grief pool and has given me the opportunity to review my life and the effect that I have had upon others. This has been helped by looking through many old family photographs which easily got me in touch with long forgotten feelings and memories. Although it has been sad and painful, I have been provided with a wonderful opportunity to help me connect with deeper feelings. Then, through my spiritual practices this has enabled me to be able to clear, release and resolve those hidden feelings in a way that had not been possible before.

This has been quite easy with a Feeling Is Healing process which I am able to email to you if you feel that it would be useful. As we go about our everyday lives, we can live them superficially, filling our time and using our energy in ways that are not in our best interests, depending on what we wish to achieve in our lifetime. What goes around comes around and I love the idea of ‘paying it forward’ and living a life in full awareness and in touch with my feelings. For me it is important to be more in touch with feelings and to get that monkey off my back, the ever busy mind, filled with its mental chatter. And so I am daily working towards self-mastery.

My recent journey was unexpected.My initial feeling upon hearing of my ex-husband’s death was gratitude in that after our divorce, we had made peace with each other and treated one another with kindness, love and respect. However I realised that in wanting to create boundaries in my life and not really trusting him sufficiently, I could have done better and regret that the opportunity to do that has passed. My experience was that towards the end of his life, I was able to see Bill with new eyes, instead of still seeing him as a snapshot from a very long time ago. I had him in a box. We like to categorise our life and experience, placing everything like items into its own little box. This is what I did, have a snapshot image from the past and my mind held onto that. 

It is a very unconscious process, as our unconscious mind is constantly at work as it sees things, categorises, judges, tries hard to make sense of everything, hence the habit of putting every little thing into its own box. To stop this we have to become more mindful and conscious the way we live our life. We need to practice greeting anew.

Until recently I was not able to see how much Bill had changed, how he had mellowed, softened and become helpful, with many wonderful attributes. That was not greeting life anew, which I shall now explain more about. To greet anew is that in each moment, every hour of each day we are constantly greeting anew, whether it is with people, things, or anything else. Even oneself! And it takes vigilance.

It helps to prevent the following, that we may keep drawing similar experiences to us, in part due to habits and living an unconscious life, rather like Groundhog Day. We find ourselves repeating what we do as we go round and round in circles, going over the same lessons again and again. You know the feeling when something is familiar, we find ourselves in similar relationships or situations with work or people and feel quite stuck.

So that is one important intention to hold, to treat each other anew and also to practice the Holy Encounter. The Holy Encounter is to recognise God in everyone, including oneself, to understand and realise that our essence is made of Spirit, or God or whatever term you may choose to use which is meaningful to you, as we live by the impulses drawn from that very essence, which expresses itself through the vehicle of our physical, or human body.

Nowadays instead of feeling intermittently sad and regretful that I could have done better, I am grateful to my life with Bill and the opportunities that presented. Despite everything and how I had felt myself to be a victim in the marriage, finally I am blessed with gratitude for the life we shared and comprehend that his influence, even his control, was done out of love and with his best wishes for me and other people. I have learnt from Michael King that love is the motivation behind everything. We may not understand this and more often than not are likely to do the following. Argue the point, take things personally, judge, project onto others, are either aggressive or passive aggressive without knowing it (or a multitude of other less than helpful things). To live each day and moment with genuine gratitude is highly beneficial and altogether necessary if we are to live our lives rich in experience and abundance.

I would like to leave you with a quote by Mahatma Ghandi, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

Love and Blessings to each of you. We are able to live a reality filled life, full of rewards, making considerable progress with which with we may as a result enter into the next life far richer and with greater opportunities.

Lynette Mitchell xo

Disclaimer: This post is written from my personal understanding and experience and is not to be misconstrued in any way. Advice given is general and as I am not a medical doctor, take no responsibility for how it is received, my intention is that articles will be supportive and assist in living a fuller, holistic living life.
I am available for either laughter yoga sessions and holistic living counselling and lead the Free Community Ferntree Gully Laughter Club which you are welcome to attend. Phone me on 0425 799 258 or email me to make contact, or to receive my monthly email newsletter, or sign up on Laughter For Living

Discernment, What Makes Us Laugh and Self-Enquiry Questions About Our Laughter Habits.

Why do we laugh, it can be for different reasons and survival needs which are held deep within our psyche. In laughter yoga and community laughter clubs, we treat laughter as a form of exercise and we do it because of the many health benefits. It is good for us from the well documented physical viewpoint, lowering blood pressure, helping one to relax, the many physical benefits using it as a form of exercise, which is as physical as rowing a boat.You can read more about the benefits of laughter yoga on my webpage.

Various Types of Laughter

There are various reasons and types of natural laughter. Some may seem on the surface to be genuine, yet they can be habitual, covering up discomfort, embarrassment, inability to communicate and so forth. Laughter is of greater benefit if we do it with awareness and consciously, rather than using it as a fill in for an uncomfortable situation. We have the opportunity to attend to our needs, that is monitor and then address how often we laugh as a fill in activity, to avoid confrontation or whatever. That is if we wish to and have the means to improve how we relate both with ourselves and with other people.

People find it easier to laugh in a group and even I laugh less alone, although it is recommended doing laughter exercises by yourself, to ensure that you do receive your daily dose of beneficial laughter for the body. Usually we laugh with other people when we feel comfortable with them and there is trust. Laughter creates more laughter due to its contagious and expansive nature.

We can also laugh with our peers in order to be accepted instead of being singled out or seen to be different. This need to belong with other people is a basic and beneficial need to fulfil, that of belonging. In those with a healthy, fairly balanced disposition.

And yet we can laugh so quickly in order to fit in that if we actually stopped and monitored our true feelings, we may not even find it laugh-worthy at all, as the need to belong and fit in is a powerful need held by many.

Some other reasons why we laugh are related to three traditionally held theories about what we find is humorous. These three theories are:-

Incongruity – This is when things that seem logical and familiar are altered to be things that don’t normally go together. Often things are funny when we expect one outcome and something else happens, such as a joke starting, we anticipate the outcome which may be through logical thought, emotions or past experiences. Then the joke or situation changes and we have to alter ourselves to perceive it. This can throw us and we experience incongruity.

Superiority – We find ourselves laughing at jokes which are at the expense of another person’s mistake, accident or misfortune. In this one we usually feel superior, feeling some detachment from the situation and have a good laugh, sometimes in gratitude that it is not happening to us or maybe we have been in that situation ourselves when we were less superior than we are now.

Relief – We can use humour in a stressful situation, sometimes and we have all heard of the saying ‘if I didn’t laugh, I would cry’. This takes the pressure off and even filmmakers heighten tensions and then introduce humour as a means of release from it. It can also be used in a darker sense, which may be appealing to many.

Discernment

What makes you laugh? I would like to introduce the matter of discernment, which is when we follow our knowing of what feels right, a gut instinct and it can flow from ethics and morals. I am suggesting that you may like to journal, simply write freely, about what laughter means to you and examine when you do it and why. If you find that it is lacking awareness and I have often spoken about being in the moment, mindful, grounded and present, then it may be of interest to you to do something about it in order to learn to laugh more appropriately.

For instance if you feel comfortable around someone and laugh or feel uncomfortable within yourself, doubting and lacking confidence perhaps, this would be an opportunity to understand that acting happy and spontaneously laughing can be a cover up. I knew someone once who was loud and full of laughter when in fact over time that person revealed that in fact, they were very shy and had developed mannerisms by which to help her cope. There is no judgment, we all learn behaviours and habits which help our self-preservation.

Free Resources

If you wish to email me, I would be delighted to email you a document such as ‘Feeling is Healing’. Also you are invited to contact me for chat first to see what would be best, as there are several resources available and it is enough to begin with one.

I am available for either laughter yoga or holistic living counselling sessions and lead the free community Ferntree Gully Laughter Club which you are most welcome to attend. 

Contact

Phone me on 0425 799 258 or email me to make contact, or to receive my monthly email newsletter, sign up on Laughter For Living.

Disclaimer: This post is written from my personal understanding and experience and is not to be misconstrued in any way. Advice given is general and as I am not a medical doctor, take no responsibility for how it is received, my intention is that articles will be supportive and assist in living a more holistic life.

Combining Nature and Laughter Yoga

Nature and Laughter Yoga are both extremely high up on the list of important parts of my life and I felt to write this blog as a reminder for you of the benefits of being connected with nature in its many forms in one's life. Bringing more nature into our lives strengthens our feelings of peace and inner connection with our own divinity. The elements, fire, wind, earth and water also hold the power when we mindfully connect to bring us down out of our heads and internal planning, non-stop thinking (for those of us who can relate to that) and help us to connect with our heart.

How conscious are we of the elements and nature and how respectful are we of being in relating and appreciating every aspect of their presence in our lives? As above, so below and as without, so within. This can equally relate to the relationship with our own self, how aware are we and do we live with the respect that our body, who is host to a spiritual presence within, most eminently deserves?

I received the following link to a video, which is a beautiful reminder to raise our awareness to a spiritual presence existing, by whatever name you understand that presence to be. Enjoy God Whispers to Me video.

In living with laughter yoga a major part of my life, I have found a stronger awareness through all the silly laughter exercises we do, with nature and the inter-connectedness of everything on earth and beyond. We generally do laughs involving animals and birds, sometimes the elements, imagining the wind blowing our bodies, or swimming through the water.

Do you want to do a laughter exercise or two? I will share some possibilities with you and perhaps you could ask someone else in to do them with you. When you do, be mindful, just for the fun and awareness of it, check our emotional, mental and grounded state before doing them and then ascertain how they are after doing the exercises (if you choose to of course).

As I have been writing it has flowed the subtle meanings beneath the frequently perceived silliness of doing laughter exercises for no reason. On a deeper level laughing can be very powerful and enriching, besides giving us many health benefits from doing it. We are able to grow, release deeper things and become more in touch with our own essence.

Kookaburra Laugh: The Kookaburra, the male makes a ka ka sound and the female a koo koo. We can try this and also the normal  oooo oooo ahah ahah sounds. The nature of the Kookaburra is loud, expressive, confident, aggressive and this is a good one to do when we need to find our voice. At times we can feel ourselves wimpy, having difficulty in speaking up and expressing ourselves, maybe feeling small and what we have to say is not worthwhile. Throw yourself into this one with a robustness of spirit and see and feel if it gives you an experience of it being okay to express yourself, no matter how that is, to not judge it, be it and do it and everything is okay with you!

Ducks Waddling Laugh: A mother duck waddling along a path with her ducklings following, cheep, cheep, so cute. One can be the mother and the rest the ducklings, which gives you the feeling of either the protected mother or the dependant little ducklings. We used to do this a lot when at the Boronia Arboretum, where there would be ducks breeding and how cute were those little baby ducks, staying close to their mother. Sometimes we need to be a firm but gentle leader and at others, compliant followers. Our internal spirit would benefit by our personality being compliant to it’s higher inspirations.

Tree and Wind Laugh: Imagine yourself as different types of trees, being blown by the wind. The oak tree would be strong and stiff, with the branches moving a little, otherwise very firmly grounded with roots deep into the earth. What other type of tree springs to mind? The bendy types will yield in the wind and not have a strong resistance to the wind element. This gives me the impression of the times when I need to be strong, firmly rooted into the earth, having strong boundaries and others when it is right to be perfectly adaptable, working together with others, yielding my egoic drive, coming from a place of spirit and wisdom.

Penguins Rushing to Water: Form a line and walk like a waddling penguin up to a pretend water line. Then hesitate, turn and waddle back to where you started. Do this three times and on the third time, all jump in and pretend to swim. This is a good laugh for how it relates to being with other people in groups, doubts before jumping in and being involved. We usually on the third attempt say positive things to the other, like ‘come on, you can do it’.

I often like to finish my blog posts with posing a question to you, the reader to ponder and this time it is to ask yourself if you enjoy and benefit from nature, be it walking, gardening or whatever brings you that connection? Are you doing enough, as it is particularly beneficial to embrace nature on a daily basis, as it is to laugh daily also.

I wish you well and am here for the connecting with you. Lots of big love. xo

Disclaimer: This post is written from my personal understanding and experience and is not to be misconstrued in any way. Advice given is general and as I am not a medical doctor, take no responsibility for how it is received, my intention is that articles will be supportive and assist in living a more holistic life.

I am available for either laughter yoga sessions or holistic counselling and and run the free community Ferntree Gully Laughter Club which you are welcome to attend. Phone me on 0425 799 258 or email me to make contact, or to receive my monthly email newsletter, or sign up on Laughter For Living